You can learn so much from your negative experiences. That doesn't sound right when you are in the mix but it will in due season.
You must CHANGE your perspective and get on the offense. Turn the authority of the situation to YOUR advantage (Romans 8: 18-31).You can NEVER allow yourself to stay on the defense. When you are on the defense you are not in control. You find yourself waiting to react to what someone/something else is doing. Remember you are in control of the direction of your life! You make the decisions that effect your future. TAKE BACK YOUR AUTHORITY!!
You (in concert with God) should be the one who orchestrates what circumstances bring to your life.
1. You need to heal and that is time sensitive.Hurt takes time. You will rise and God will be glorified even in this. Allow the word to soothe the area. Don't continue to return to the circumstance.
2. You must on purpose refocus on the work you are called to do.Focusing on your purpose, your relationship with God, upcoming events in your life or church keeps you from meditating on things that can push you back into an emotional cycle. The word says to cast down imaginations that exalt against the word! Maybe you and a girlfriend can go out and have some fun?! You thought life is imperative during this time.
3. Give yourself space from the issue.You are not strong or healed because you can talk about it or deal with whatever you are going through. Empower other areas of your life by spending quality time there.
4. Allow yourself the time to deal with the issue(s) (it's natural).Ignoring it's existence doesn't make it go away. To many times we think this is the "spiritual" thing to do. The church is the only place where we "IGNORE" real issues. Say your peace, journal, or speak to someone who is spiritually mature.
5. Don't try to be the BIG DOG! and say it doesn't matter, etc. (it does)The enemy will use your weaknesses, hurts, and issues against you. What happened does matter but don't let it consume your life.
6. Walk in the truth of the word of God.You won't feel like it, you may even be numb but that doesn't dictate it's effectiveness. The emotional upheaval will pass.
7. Identify your feelings.Start there in your search for scripture to hold on to.
8. Definitely write.I avidly journal. It helps you to focus and you will see your true feelings and what is in your heart.
9. You have a future.Speak your future desires into existence.
For example: I will not be alone always. God will bless my family. I will be happy.God wants you to be successful. You can't look at the past and say if I had only known. God will use where we are NOW for his glory. It is bigger than you and as you surrender the circumstance to him for him to use it, he will show you how he will be glorified in it.